“The most important one,” “The only thing that counts,” “the greatest of these,” the Bible says a lot of cool things about love, leading me to believe it is one of the most important words in the Bible. It even says, “God is love.” Here at Singing Oaks we want this Godly type of love to be at the CORE of who we are as we try to love each other in this church family. But how to do this? Loving is difficult!
Michele and I have been married for 33 years. Just recently after a disagreement in the car (maybe a small argument) I discovered that the reason for her getting unusually upset, at least in part, went back to something that frequently happened in her family and a memory of feeling unsafe. I now understand better and have a greater desire and motivation to change my behavior and improve our relationship.
Our past informs the way we behave and affects the way we love. Much of this past involves family of origin issues that have shaped our lives. The problem here is that for much of our lives we don’t understand how this works. We just know how we act and react (many times negative) to the circumstances of life. We then struggle and often fail to change our behavior resulting in damaged relationships. Digging into our lives (though difficult) helps us to understand our behavior and make the necessary course corrections.
On Friday September 18th and 19th we are hosting a seminar to help us understand how our past affects our relationships. Nationally known speakers and authors Milan and Kay Yerkovich are coming to Denton to talk about How We Love. Among other things, they will explore our love styles. Am I an avoider, a pleaser, vacillator, a controller, a victim or a secure connector? All these styles, they say, come from our childhood relational experiences. By understanding ourselves better we can diagnose our problem areas and learn ways to heal and love better!
Back in the 90’s Michele and I attended a similar type of seminar that really helped us when we were struggling. I believe the How We Love seminar also has the potential to transform struggling relationships whether single, married or divorced, and also improve good relationships. Everyone I know who has attended this event say wonderful things about it.
The seminar is based on their book, How We Love, which will be available for purchase when they come. Writer Josh McDowell says this about it, “How We Love has the capacity to change not only your marriage but every relationship that’s important in your life.”
God wants our love for him and each other to be ever increasing, and we are never too old to learn more. The How We Love seminar is just one way we are trying to make that happen here at our church because we believe in Love.
