Have you ever broken up with someone? Has anyone ever broken up with you? Whether you are the heartbreaker or the broken hearted, breaking up always hurts. As the heartbreaker, you may feel relieved, free as a bird, and optimistic as you depart a relationship that has become a burden in your self-absorbed pursuit of happiness. Relationship is the point of being human. We were created by a God that desired relationship, and so we were created. In His image, we were created. God created the heavens and the earth, the birds and the fish, the flowers and the trees, and then He created us to take care of His creation. He created us to be in relationship with His creation. Relationship takes many directions, and very often, in our American pursuit of something better, we neglect our relationships and/or abuse the people in our lives, because of busyness, responsibility, and obligation.
An epidemic in our culture today is the ability to breakup with church. Breaking up isn’t hard to do anymore. If we aren’t happy, we move on. We don’t owe anyone anything, and loyalty is hard to come by, unless you’re a Texas A&M Aggie. As a single person, I am constantly inundated with the dating question, “Why don’t you try speed dating or eHarmony?” Now, I’m not saying that those aren’t good methods for dating, but here’s the reason for not indulging in those methods: I’m tired of breaking up with people. It’s exhausting, frustrating, and painful.
What is the link between breaking up and leaving church? I believe the reason people break up with church is because they are tired of dating churches. The problem with dating is that you show your date your best at the beginning. You wear your nicest clothes, smile, and have the best attitude, and then it just all goes downhill from there. Churches do the same. A new family visits or the new college semester begins, and we all are so friendly, inviting, and sincerely hope they will return. We don’t ask for a commitment, we just ask for a second chance. Again, the problem with dating is that you aren’t looking for commitment…just a second date. Instead of saying, “We want you to be a part of our church family,” we give people the easy way out because we aren’t sure if we are good enough for them. Again, dating has the same problem. Culture has once again defined the church, and we, as Christians, are called to be pursuers of people, fishers of men and women, and it’s time for us to give up the dating madness.
People are not looking for a fun group of people to hang out with…they aren’t looking for more activities, or a better song selection. People are looking for authentic community. By the way, sometimes I think of breaking up with you Singing Oaks. I become tired, frustrated, and angry, but then I think about all the people I’ve grown to love in 20 short months, and I hear the dreams of the leadership, and see how our team of ministers is learning to speak the same language; and then I, this single, commitment phobic woman, decide to “stay the course” and practice my own preaching. My challenge to all of us is to give up dating, stop breaking up, and attempt to pay the debt to our risen Lord and Savior, Jesus. This mission is greater than “the pursuit of happiness,” and we do owe God everything.
