I often wonder about God. As a pastor and therapist I am often confronted with many questions about God and the created order. As I sit and silently observe the conflict in the heart of those whose words call for an ear, I often pause … and wonder.

When my son was born I found that my pauses became longer. That my ever quickening flee from “laziness” seemed irrelevant. That my focus on “getting things done” slowed. I would find my ears listening, my heart slowing, and my mind reflecting on God.

I have often imagined God, just after birthing humanity, staring down, looking over, wanting so much just to hold and care for this bundle of joy, this Adam. Working hard throughout the universe creating, sustaining, and providing meaning for life all the while craving and longing just to sit and watch time go by with his child, to be still.

I imagine Adam, man, running around going nuts, learning new things climbing the trees in the garden, digging holes and making mud. All the while God watches with a smile, reminiscing a time when all man wanted was to be held and comforted.

How counter-cultural is stillness? How far away from God must a people be to see stillness, laziness, or as God would say “Sabbath” as an idea so distant that it can’t be reached, and even if reached would be so foreign that we would fill it with bus(y)iness. As I sit on my back porch reflecting or as some would say being lazy, I wonder, did I get it wrong? Have I spent the last few years of my life in a never ceasing pursuit of doing more and more so that I can make more and more so that when life draws near to dusk I can retire, “be lazy?” Has my Sabbath been systemically postponed to a time when I will be told by this culture that laziness is OK? Will I even know how to be still and know God?

Somehow I think that the most productive thing that I have done this day, is not building a fence, or weeding the flower bed, or exercising, or cleaning but sitting on the porch with God enjoying my son at my feet as God enjoys His son (me) at his feet.